“Oh, this?’ He pointed to the
document with her name. “This is just a waiver. It states we have the right to
capture your image on tape for our use but not for commercial distribution.
Standard stuff. We’ll get to it in a minute.”
Next to the waiver, Tony studied
a much larger well-worn document—dog-eared in many places.
“Okay … Is that the script
there?”
“Yes, but we’re not going to use
it tonight. Tonight will be about … ” he hesitated and turned his acne-scared
face to hers, “improvisation. You improvise don’t you?”
“Of course.” She put just enough
assurance into her tone to show him self-reliance but not overconfidence. “I
just need an idea about the character and the scene.”
“Well, the character is a
woman,” he began, twisted his body to face her, and crossed his arms over his
chest, “who has been separated from the man she loves for many months. She’s
home one evening and has just finished showering. When she steps into her
bedroom with just towel, she sees a figure, a man, in the shadows. She believes
it’s her lover come home to surprise her. So, she loosens the towel, lets it
drop to the floor and walks to the bed.”
Tony expanded on the story and
then concluded, “While they’re having sex, she realizes this man is not her
boyfriend but an intruder. Her body so craves intimacy, though, she gives in
and becomes a willing partner in her own rape.”
“Wow, that’s intense … I take it
there’ll be nudity?”
“That’s also in the waiver. You
don’t have a problem with that, do you? You’ve been naked in front of the
camera before, haven’t you?”
“Well, yes but … usually I’m
dead, Tony.” She arched her eyebrows and allowed her dimples to blossom as she
smiled.
Tony laughed. “Well … you don’t
want to be dead for this scene.”
Tony paused and she felt his
eyes bore into hers. She wanted to break the stare but feared this was part of
the test, so she kept her smile bright and waited for him to continue.
“There will be sex, too.”
Tony weighed her expression. Her
smile diminished and she replaced it with a hesitant look of shock. For her to
back away now would ruin the plan—but it
has to be her choice.
Since his Ma was a hooker,
Newark, New Jersey’s finest didn’t waste time looking for the drunk who brought
her premature and violent end. It was as if they said, “Good ridden to bad
trash.” So with her life cut short without finding redemption, Tony knew her
absolution rested in his hands.
That was something Tony could
resolve. Someone had to pay, to stand in the gap for her. He thought he found a
way through an act he could commit without fear or remorse. Yet, even though
causing the lights to go out in a man’s eyes released for a moment the raging
inferno always mounting in the core of his brain, over time, he knew his
actions had fallen short. Something was missing in every human sacrifice he
proffered and Ma was still in the Hell to which she had been abandoned.
Like the Abraham and Isaac Bible
story Ma used to read him, he had looked for someone both willing to climb on
the altar and worthy to pay the price. Only after meeting Natalie yesterday did
he acknowledge that what she embodied gave light to the final requirement. It
had to be a woman. However, before Tony could rest in the assurance that
Natalie represented the perfect union of the three requisites, she had to be
tested. Tonight he would discover if she was willing. The road to Ma’s pardon
would begin when Natalie became Ma.
“Actual sex?” The unexpected
announcement caused Natalie, even though she restrained a shout, to speak
louder than she wanted. She wrestled her emotions and brought control to her
voice. “You want me to have sex with someone?”
“It’s what Ansell
needs. The scene you’re playing tonight is direct from the script and Ansell
himself plays the role of the intruder. The film is very explicit and will
leave little to the viewer’s imagination. Natalie, doing a sex scene on film
with dozens of crew watching can be intimidating for some people. I’ve seen
actresses under contract choke and end up quitting which costs the production
company. So Ansell insists that the screen test include you in the actual act
of sexual intercourse. He wants to gage your ability to relate to the different
emotions this scene demands while distracted by what is really happening to
you.”
“I don’t know about this,” she
said and took a step back. She had made a promise to herself when she moved
west that she would pursue a legitimate career in film. She knew with her body,
she could have found plenty of lucrative work in the pornography industry. In
fact, her agent had suggested soft porn as a way to get in front of the camera
and earn credits, but she had turned him down. To take her clothes off in front
of the film crew was one thing, and uncomfortable the first few times, but
performing sex on camera was
something she couldn’t see herself doing—ever.
“I can’t believe I’m saying
this,” she continued, “but I think I’ll have to walk away. Please, thank Mr.
Parker for the opportunity.”
She turned and strode toward the
door.
“Ms. Beaumont,” Tony said, “I do
hope you’re not making a mistake. Opportunities like this only come once and
there are no retakes. If you want to take a pass, though, you’re free to go. No
one’s stopping you.”
Natalie came to a halt twenty
feet from the door.
“I’m sure there are any number
of girls,” he continued, “who would be willing to make this sacrifice for a
chance to play opposite Ansell, not to mention the fame that’ll bring.
She continued to stand still,
her back to him. She could hear her own words echo in her head, “Whatever it damn well takes.” She knew
she had to make a tough choice for her career’s sake and it had to be now.
Dreams had been made and destroyed in moments like this. If she walked away,
Amy Westerhill won, and Natalie might regret it for the rest of her life. If
she submitted, however, this would be a decision she could never unmake.
In high school she had
experimented with sex. One afternoon after school, she stood up her chores at
the farm and went with a boy to the barn behind his house. There in the loft,
he was so anxious—and she so nervous—it was over too fast. In a way she felt
relieved.
But an unexpected pain tore deep
in the place where he was inside her. The raw ache brought an uncontrolled
squeal to her lips and silent tears spilled into the hay beneath her head. She
had had “the talk” with her mom, but somehow her mother left out the part about
popping her cherry. So when the blood flowed, not only was she shocked and
nauseous, but she thought something had gone wrong. Maybe “the wages of sin”
had caught up with her like she had been taught at church—punishment for
premarital sex. But after some research in the school library, she found out it
was a natural and a onetime event.
Up until today, though, Natalie
had only been with guys she knew. Whoever this actor was, he was a stranger. How can I let him into my body?
She turned and looked across the
room at Tony. She couldn’t read his expression but he smiled. Unlike the stone
face she witnessed the first time they met, this smile seemed welcoming. It’s only sex. I know how to do that, and
it’ll be over soon. I’ll never have to do
this again. She hesitated a moment longer. The memory of the warmth of
Ansell’s hand on her face and mouth on her lips yesterday made her heart leap.
With the tempting thought of the hours it would take with their flesh pressed
together to shoot a complete love scene with him—maybe even more than one—she felt her body lean forward. But, as
she put one foot in front of the other tracing her steps back toward Tony,
behind her the door through which she had entered the room a few minutes
earlier groaned and shut.
_____
©
Jearl Rugh 2012
All
Rights Reserved
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